Flying high

An article written for Southern Exposure:

On a typical day you can find me flying through the trees, guiding groups on Tasmania's newest eco-adventure - a canopy tour with nearly 3/4 km of flying foxes. My office is the treetops, work is really more like play with a bit of responsibility and meeting, teaching, guiding and sometimes coaching so many different people a day through what can be quite a confronting experience (fear of heights wise) is a joy. When I am not rostered on tours you can usually find me at home on the computer being paid to self-educate myself in graphic design skills while producing posters, certificate layouts, map & information pamphlets and so on for work.
I am loving it all, but the journey to this point in my life has been full of speed bumps, 'wrong turns' and a a great deal of self-discovery as I stumbled about trying to work out what I wanted to do when I "grew up".

I met the 1st stumbling block when I was in grade 6. I discovered the word for a house designer: Architect. I was caught, hook, line, & t-square. That was it. I was going to be an architect! Every subject I did at school from then on was geared towards this goal. About this time I also started having eye trouble, developing a lazy left eye. In effect, I have seen double ever since. No depth perception and the optometrist compounded this problem by giving me bifocals.
Playing sport was a nightmare - I could never figure out which of the 4 balls coming my way was the real one! "4-eyes" in truth, I hated sport, was teased by the other kids because I was so clumsy and was even berated by the PE teachers for being a "butterfingers". I became a bookworm and concentrated on getting good marks in the more academic subjects.

By the time I finished school I had trouble communicating with people, was painfully introverted, Was convinced that I was a physical failure and still wanted to be an architect.

I was only 17 when I finished school so my mother persuaded me to go to Scotland for a gap-year to work as a housekeeper at an Outdoor centre managed an aunt and uncle. The older staff became my role-models, especially the female instructors/guides. They were so fit and strong and confident - I wanted to be like that too. On days off they took me hill-walking, rock climbing and canoeing... and I loved it and found I was actually fairly good at it. I stayed for a 2nd year and decided that while I was still young I should work outdoors, it would be better for my eyes anyway as lots of close-work really stuffs them up(and I wanted to be fit, strong and confident!). While still in Scotland I applied for a place on the BA(outdoor education) course in Bendigo, Victoria. I got in, came back to Australia and the next 3 years were truly hard work; not academically, but socially. By the time I graduated I was a little less introverted (had managed to persuade myself to go to the pub with my class-mates once or twice) and could cope with leading groups if I did a lot of planning and nothing went too far out of that plan. I wasn't a very flexible leader.

The next year saw me attempt to 'get into' the outdoor education industry. But the school children confused me (I had not spent time socially with that age-group when I was their age) and I didn't have a drivers licence. The drivers licence proved to be too scary - it's not easy to learn to drive while seeing double. So I went back to university. Did a Grad dip in Environmental studies. Finished that and still didn't have a licence. it is amazing how hard it is to get a job in the outdoor and environment fields without one.

By then I had pretty much given up on being a confident outdoorsy person and thought I would go back to my 1st love. Architecture. Having done one degree, I couldn't afford to go to Uni again. So I thought I'd start at a different level. Cert. IV Building design and drafting at TAFE. Hated it. Well, the design part and the CAD part was fantastic, but the wading through building codes was awful. I worked as a draftsperson for a year. still hated it.
Battling depression, feeling like I had completely lost my way and was useless at everything, I ran away to the mainland and went fruit picking. I bought a good digital camera and a laptop and rediscovered a love of photography. Constantly travelling and meeting new people I forced myself to learn how to be relaxed socially and became more confident. By the end of the year I had decided that I very much preferred practical work and that I would like to be involved in graphical design type stuff but not full time .... maybe as my own business. I decided that to move forward I absolutely had to have a drivers licence.
So I came home to Tasmania, Went to work the local apple packing shed, worked on my graphics skills at home, did a bookkeeping course and with the help of friends and family, finally passed the driving test.

Suddenly, there was so much more I could do, and all the years of random work and training could be put to use. I saw an ad in the paper looking for guides for a new venture up here in the north. applied. Got an interview. Got the job. was amazed at how confident I felt. I got off the 'P'-plates 2 days before I started work in early December last year.

But in truth, it wasn't the skills I had or the new drivers licence that got me the job (though I am sure they helped), It was the confidence I had in myself that I could do it and the confidence socially to go into an hour long interview with 2 strangers and come out having asked them more questions than they asked me, the confidence to take the time to think about the questions they asked and not stutter out the 1st drivel or prepared answer that came to mind.

From Painfully introverted and shy to confident leading groups of total strangers.... it's been a long hard 12 years. But it has been worth it.

In short, Confidence in yourself and your skills will take you a long way. Don't be afraid to face your fears and try something new, learn something new and know that if you give something your very best shot, you can't help but learn something - even if it is that you hate it - you'd much rather be doing something else. That, and knowing that failing the 1st time doesn't mean you are not able to do it, just that it may take a little longer and a bit more effort to push yourself where you want to go ......12 years maybe!